if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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