I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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