I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
