Too much gin, very little bucket
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
