Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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