i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
