I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize