This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
