Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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