i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
