I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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