im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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