I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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