people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
