Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Someone came in the potted fern
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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