ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
