dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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