you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
