He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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