We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
