I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
