Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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