Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Drake has all the answers
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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