I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
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