CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
