You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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