its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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