Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
