i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
