what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
