He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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