Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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