You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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