return my video game
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
