You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
