we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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