i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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