how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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