You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
