He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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