Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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