I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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