I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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