Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just pee around me
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
