I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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