I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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