She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
