Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
