um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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