Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she looked like the before picture.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
