Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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