I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
