Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
