If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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