she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Can I color on your dick again?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
