if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
