Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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