yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
