It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
