you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
